When the world of self-help becomes too much, try to bring it back to the basics of being a good human.
It is ridiculously possible to drown yourself, often to the point of exhaustion, in metaphors, checklists, books . . . anything to help us develop that ideal human being we’re eager to become. So, there are days when we just need to take a ‘self-help hiatus’, step back from the journal and get back to the basics by simply choosing to be a good human being - the end.
Now everyone's ‘basics’ are different - mine just happen to rely on this amazing man’s ‘Four Agreements’ - tangible, personal goals that we can set with ourselves. Because as we know, it all comes down to what we each can control in life and that is US - our thoughts, our actions, our words.
So here are the Four Agreements - I find myself working on one or the other at different times in my daily life, never fully mastering all but constantly striving to uphold each of them to the best of my ability:
O N E : Be impeccable with your word
Speak your truth with integrity and love
Say only what you mean
Avoid using your words negatively against yourself or others
PERSONAL TIP: Before I speak, I ask myself to THINK: Is it True? Is it Helpful? Is it Inspiring? Is it Necessary? Is it Kind?
T W O : Don’t take anything personally
Nothing others do is because of you
What others say and do is a projection of their own reality
When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering
PERSONAL TIP: Before you react to something someone said or did, stop and ask yourself whether that person might be going through something intense in their own life, then see if that answer encourages you to infuse a bit more compassion or understanding into your response.
T H R E E : Don’t make assumptions
Expectations and assumptions (as with comparison) are thieves of joy
Find the courage to ask questions and express what you truly want
Communicate with others clearly to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama
PERSONAL TIP: Try to approach new experiences with an open mind, heart, and attitude. When we enter this way, with no expectations (good or bad), we allow ourselves emotions and experience without limits, while ensuring we’re not asking the universe to bring us whatever bad outcome we’re expecting to occur.
F O U R : Always do your best
Your best will change each day, but if you can say you’re proud of who you were today, that is the best place to start
Under any circumstance you find yourself in, simply try to do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement and regret
PERSONAL TIP: If or when 1-3 feel too tough, start here and just try to do your best, one action, word, thought at a time. This effort is what it means to be a good human - and we should all strive for that every single day.
Thank you for doing your part to make this world a wonder-full home!
Love + Joy,
KJ
